So Close!!!

To quote Miss Alyssa Hayes: TWO MORE PRACTICES! Which, for me, is really three, because of my practice schedule...but there are three more practice times until my recital. One this evening, two tomorrow, and then I'm on.

I'm really excited to perform. I've had a scary week, but I'm trying to keep that out of my mind. Between straight up recital nerves to waking up Monday with little voice and a sore throat, I've been really worried that this won't go over well. But I put on my dress last night, just to practice bowing in it, and took a few deep breaths, and told myself that I would be okay. Because I will.

I've worked so hard this semester and, even at my last lesson, I can see all of the improvements I've made! I'm going to focus on a forward buzz, skinny tone production, and consonants, and I think the rest will really fall into place this Saturday. I love how it's becoming easier to be expressive. I love how I've also found it easier to take the advice Dr. H has given and apply it in practice. I also, however, think this comes from a more consistent practice routine.

I guess, for now, this is the best it's going to be. I have worked hard...now to have fun!

THREE MORE PRACTICES!!! WOOT!

And Another Update

First and foremost, I want to just give a huge compliment to the studio! Everyone is performing so well. It's an honor to be a part of this group and I'm just super excited to see all of the growth that has occurred since my freshman year. Not only on my part, but all around! It's so fun and the caliber is just amazing. I strive to work harder every day because of the people around me and seeing them improve as well.

Practicing this week has been. Well. Hit and miss. I'm trying to keep the times I've normally put into my schedule. It usually works like clockwork. But with Tour last week and Little Shop this week, it's been hard to find the time. I'm always getting at least thirty minutes a day and I'm starting to, as per Mr. Phil's suggestion, run my recital in order so that I can get a feel for what I need to do mentally to prepare for each song. It's a great suggestion. I really think it's going to help.

I feel like the consistency is getting there. My lesson today was a major success and I'm extremely stoked about how recital went. I don't normally walk away thinking I performed well, but I felt like today was a great one. Much better than last week and a good way to restore my confidence.

I'm focusing on little things for the recital. Consonants. Modification. Expression. I have my invitations out and posters to go up soon, finishing up those revisions to program notes, and what have you. I'm so excited for my recital to come around...and I will be so relieved when it's over!

Updates

I'm working really hard to be positive right now, because I know good things are happening and I'm living way too much in my head right now. So, I'm going to think of the good things that are going on with my voice and music.

• I'm becoming more consistent in The Monk and His Cat on the word 'Pangur.'
• It's becoming easier to recognize when something isn't clicking like it should be...such as the resonance or how I'm pronouncing something. 
• I'm becoming more confident with modification, but it has a long ways to go... 
• Singing expressively is becoming more natural and real. 
• It feels easier to control my voice.

There are still a ton of places to work on. Practicing during Mid-Term Break happened, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. It's time to hit things hard. I can't seem to get over whatever stuffy-ness I have, so I'm kind of frustrated there, and I sincerely hope that I am able to handle that soon.

I need to work really hard on getting out of my own head. It's keeping me from being successful in the ways I want, which is frustrating. I'm naturally a worrier when it comes to things like this, so I just want to worry about it and control it all, but I can't. I just can't.

I'm going to be honest here: I'm really disappointed with my performance on recital today. It could have been worse, but it should have been so much better. I'm not one to forget words, but I let myself lose focus and I just lost everything. But, there's always next time. I just have to jump back on and try again. It's not easy, though.

I guess that's my blogging for right now...

"For Good"

This has no place in my practice blog, and I'm aware of that, but I have to share it somewhere and this feels like a good place. I was on YouTube tonight and stumbled across this video. This three year old boy has autism, and his favorite song is "For Good" from Wicked.



As far as practicing goes, Mid-Term Break has been a little rough on me, but I've managed to put in some decent time listening and score studying. With the recital date quickly approaching, I'm working on all of those final polishing things.

I've spent a lot of time on The Monk and His Cat since my jury, trying to figure out why I say 'Pangur' differently each time. I'm also focusing on vowel color in my lower register. Now I need to remember not to modify.

That's the word of the semester: Modify.

I've also been speaking my German texts a lot to try and remind myself of the consonants. I figure that's going to help in some way, shape, or form. The more I do it and do it WELL, the better it will be. After all, practice makes permanent.

I'm going to keep up the work this week.

So Relieved!!!

So, today was stressful. The whole week has been, but that's okay. I've gotten a cold and it feels pretty crummy. My throat hurts, I'm congested, etc, etc. But that's okay.

Eric and I had our jury today for our recital. While there are definitely areas that need to be worked on, I'm pretty pumped that I PASSED! This is just a massive weight off of my shoulders. I know I need to keep working hard and keep my head up and alert, the semester is far from over, but I just feel like I can handle it now. I know that all of my hard work paid off.

It felt amazing to hear Dr. Lofgren tell me he's seen tons of improvement. I smiled. And, the truth is (without being cocky), I believe it! I worked hard! I've done a lot to sing better! It's awesome. Although, I am going to miss being an alto next year. :(

Anyways, that's my entry right now. I'm going to take a day or two off of practicing...and possibly score study. I'm going to hit it hard over break, because I'll need to. But I think tomorrow can be a day of rest. And midterms. But mostly rest!

Also, Dr. Hepworth, thank you for everything! You rock my socks! :) I couldn't have done it without you.